We interview Poppy and Geoff Spencer, who are relationship coaches and authors of “1 Billion Seconds.” Geoff lost his brother on 9/11 in the World Trade Center. We talk about what is going on these days with recent tragedies and how to deal with them.
Coming to you from the spacious broadcast studios high atop the local Denny’s.
One Billion Seconds is 32 years of time and that’s the amount of time Poppy and Geoff were separated. She was his college sweetheart. As a 21-year-old boy, Geoff wasn’t thinking too far ahead and both lacked communication skills. She slipped out of his life until they connected again 32 years later. During the time they were separated, Geoff lost his brother. The book is about their journey and then getting back together again. 6 years ago, they found each other again and have been married for the last 5 years.
Geoff’s brother George was in the South Tower, which was the 2nd tower hit, but the first to crumble. Reporters interviewed Geoff soon afterward. When the reporter asked Geoff if it was okay to be interviewed he felt a presence around him encouraging him to do it. After the 2-hour interview was over he felt his mantra was to be that he wasn’t going to let tragedy be the end of his brother’s story.
He ended up doing multiple interviews, radio and other appearances to promote the uplifting message that we can’t let sadness be the end of anyone’s story.
On the tragedies that have happened recently:
When Fred Rogers was a little boy and he saw bad things on TV, (radio) his mother would say , “Look for the good people.” (the helpers)
After the Twin Towers came down people around the world banded together with massive support for the victim’s families.
However, in the aftermath of recent tragedies, like the gorilla who had to be put to death at the zoo, or the boy in Florida who was killed by an alligator, there have been more accusations than sympathy. Social media has been the culprit because it’s easy to blast opinions online. But despite all those uninformed tweets and posts, it’s important to remember all the many good people who help out like the ones who lined up for hours to give blood after the Orlando shooting.
Dealing with a person who has gone through a tragedy
Don’t stay away from those who have experienced tragedy or trauma, even if you don’t know what to say. The most comforting thing you can do is be there for them without saying anything. Show them love and that you’re on board with them. Hold space for them with your wordless presence and listen.
Writer Rhiana Maidenberg said, “I think we judge the family to make the situation less painful to bear so we can distance ourselves from this sort of heartbreak.”
Geoff discussed some of the reactions he and his family got from people who helped them after his brother’s death. We also talked about how it affected people everywhere. Please listen in to the entire podcast by clicking the player above to hear the stories in their entirety.
If you endure a tragedy
If a tragedy happens to you it’s important to find empathy, a purpose, and find out what you can do to honor the victim who died. That will give you a way to replace the angst you have.
The Spencer’s are both relationship coaches and deal with all sorts of issues including people having transitional time in their relationship. They define what they do as relationship coaches as being architects, while a psychologist is more like an archeologist. They are also very results and goals oriented.
If a client is in a fight or flight point in their relationship, they help them see where they are by holding space without judgment and let them figure out which way they want to go. Then, they allow the person to decide, in their own mind, if they want to stay in the relationship or end it.
Poppy and Geoff’s children are children of divorce and it has given them the skills to work beautifully with blended families. They both have wonderful relationships with their former spouses.
A large number of people who rekindle a romance from the past find that it works out well, as their relationship did.
The Emotional Clock
As relationship coaches, Poppy and Geoff invented a device called “The Emotional Clock” to use with their clients. It takes their clients through the emotions they have in their relationship and the decisions they have to make. (listen in for more detail on this in the podcast)
To contact Poppy and Geoff Spencer:
Please visit their website
You can purchase their book, “1 Billion Seconds” by clicking here