Coming to you from the point where Venus and Jupiter align.
The Broads welcome Doug Sandler as their guest. He has published a book called “Nice Guys Finish First.” The Broads love nice guys and were excited to talk to him. Doug’s a professional speaker, blogger, Huffington Post writer, author and podcaster. He says he’s an exhibitionist and loves to be out in front of people. He also loves to drink Cosmos.
Sharone asks, “I like nice guys, but they don’t like me back, so I end up going out with bad boys. What’s a girl to do?” Doug answers that “Us nice guys that are out there sometimes want to put on the persona of being a bad boy so that the nice girls, or the ones who are attracted to the bad boys would actually like us but it doesn’t really work very well and I end up just going back to that normal guy, that nice guy that I am. Really, nice guys do finish first.” He likes to rescue women who are whispering “Help!” when bad boys try to pick them up.
Doug’s getting married soon so, unfortunately another good one will be off the market.
Can you be a nice guy and a bad boy at the same time?
You can fake it. Doug rides a Harley but is still a nice guy.
What is a bad boy?
A bad boy is someone who treats you like you’re not special.
Some “good boys” turn out to be “bad boys.”
Guys that need to be in control all the time (bad boys) are insecure and become “dicks.”
Nathan would be perfect . . . if only he was different. ~ Guys and Dolls
Why you want a good guy
Doug believes good guys make good lovers. Good guys want to make sure their partner is taken care of. They’re pleasers.
When it comes down to it, you should just have a dog.
Doug and Danielle
After being divorced, Doug met “Miss Nice Girl.” She’s a lot younger than him. LOL Her name is Danielle.
How are men and women different in the way they approach business?
Danielle works in the events industry which is dominated by women. She’s beautiful. On the weekends, she dresses for other women. Doug feels that women don’t really dress for men. They dress for other women. (Men would rather you didn’t dress at all.)
Sharone says she likes to dress so her clothes look easily removable. She says the guys she’s been out with think that if an outfit is too difficult to get off, it’s too much trouble. (buttons, zippers, etc.)
Danielle uses to her advantage those things that work for her in business. (details, way she dresses, makeup) If she dresses better than her competition, she comes out ahead. If she were doing it just a façade, it would collapse. She always follows up with amazing customer service.
Doug has a signature look that brands him. Purple tie, vest, etc. He wears it all the time and doesn’t have a lot of outfits.
Doug’s definition of success is:
“If I can get up every day and not have the pains. . . ”If I can do what I want to do, feel happy about it, enjoy my life, not get worried throughout the course of my day, and love what I do.” “Success is when you are doing what you love to do passionately, and actually being able to make a good living at it. Money can’t buy you happiness. You need to be happy because you’re a happy guy. (gal) You have to make yourself get that way.”
Sharone says she walks around with a pleasant look on her face all the time. When you do this, you become more happy, because your brain tricks itself into being happy and it makes others around you happier.
Doug says the art of self-talk in huge.
“If we were to talk to ourselves, or if other people were to talk to ourselves the way that we speak to our ourselves, we’d end up walking around with a black eye our entire life, because we are so critical of everything. Pump the brakes a little bit. Go a little easier. Enjoy the little things you can reward yourself with.”
Nice Guys Finish First – The Book
It appeals and applies to the business world although there are a lot of personal applications in the book. It was written because Doug had poor experiences with credit card companies, insurance companies, relationship building with companies that are out there, and even small contractors who were flaky. It is about lessons learned over the past 30 years of being self-employed, building his own business, and understanding that, especially with technology the way it is today, we need to get back to human connections and building relationships.
It’s all about customer service, building a good relationship with your customers and in your personal life as well.
The process of writing a book
Doug explains the processes he went through to get his book published. (listen in for more details) His book went to number one on Amazon in the category of customer service.
He wrote a page and ½ a day for 20 weeks. (most of it at Starbucks) A page is about 250 – 300 words. Write an outline. That’s do-able for anyone who wants to write a book.
After the book was done he developed an online training program that takes everything in the chapters and breaks it down into 10 little micro modules in video form. It’s going to be released soon.