We apologize that we skipped a week of publishing our podcast but Rebecca took off to Nashville for a midlife blogger’s conference and ran out of time to edit. She met some very cool chicks though.
In this episode, the Broads don’t hold back talking about the indignities of midlife and what happens to our bodies after the age of 50. This episode covers it all and gets pretty racy. We hope you aren’t prudes. But, of course, we do it with a sense of humor because aging can be pretty funny when you think about it.
It’s difficult to write everything we talked about down in the show notes below because we go pretty much off the wall. Instead, we highly suggest you click on the player button at the top of this post or download our podcast in ITunes. If you don’t know how to download a podcast, we had the brilliant idea of writing a tutorial to show you how HERE.
Please make sure you subscribe to our show. That way you can listen to it on your phone, IPad, sitting on the toilet, in your car or lounging around on the couch eating bonbons. Podcasting (which is really an online radio show) is a very cool invention.
Some of the topics we talk about are:
Wearing stretch pants or big full skirts – Sharone apologizes to her mother for making fun of her stretch pants when she was young. Stretch pants and big skirts are what we wear to cover up our muffin tops. Fashion Tip: Wear long jackets that cover your muffin top.
Comfort footwear– Even our feet get middle aged spread. Sharone puts out a plea for Ariat shoes or Birkenstock to monetize our website. (heck, why not?) Health tips: For foot pain, buy a golf ball and roll it under your feet at night. Walk all the way through your toes to prevent bone spurs and plantar Fasciitis.
Chin hairs – Do you start grabbing your chin hairs in public and try to pull them out? We do!
Shaving your legs and other areas – We’re happy that as we grow older there’s less hair to shave on our legs. However, it’s hard to “mow the lawn” when you can’t see past your stomach.
Red boob spots. Rebecca has these and wants to know if they happened from having too many mammograms.
Older Men – They all look alike and have ears like Spock.
Why we’re considering becoming Cougars – See Older Men above.
The freedom of not having a period – This is a good thing, but then there are those other pads we have to wear now.
Sneezing – wetting and farting all at once – Like this hasn’t happened to you?
Enhancement products for men – In our case, they aren’t working.
Being dry – everywhere.
BOB – Battery operated Boyfriend
Crepe skin – This is when your skin is so thin you bleed for no reason. Then there are BINGO wings. You know, the lovely flab under your arms.
Finding clothes with sleeves – In California this is next to impossible. However, Rebecca found an ad for long sleeve camisole tops in an English over 40 magazine. Check out this website for some cute ones.
Jennifer Lopez and Kim K’s butts – Someday their butts will be down to their knees.
Wearing Spanx– We ask, “How are Spanx different from girdles?” We think it’s really cool that Sara Blakely became a billionaire after starting this company!
Moo Moos and Caftans – Rebecca once saw Mel from the Dick Van Dyke show at a gay bar in the 70’s in a caftan. Don’t ask her why she was at the gay bar.
Going braless – We’re not protesting, we just think it’s more comfortable. We hate bras with bones and wonder why our boobs got so big.
Drooping boobs – We must! We must! We must improve the bust! (According to Sharone, this exercise still works)
and more silly stuff . . . (Click the play button above to listen to the entire episode, but don’t forget to wear a pad)
Disclaimer: We were not drunk when we recorded this. Also, we have no affiliation with any of the products mentioned in this podcast, but would like to.
Please leave a comment and let us know other indignities of midlife that you’ve experienced. We are looking for more fodder for our future podcasts.
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